1333 replies to this topic

[TheBaronOfFratton]

TOO MANY "ANGELS"?

So, it's been about an hour since somebody last enquired about "Angel" status and 'who is?' and 'who isn't?' one... But news comes of a fun new take on this incredibly important issue: Are There Too Many "Angels" Now?

It seems that the VS expansion plan has angered the man-on-the-street - and this sudden swell in the ranks is a step too far for us 'fans'. Yeah, I preferred it when it was just the four "Angels" too - Adriana, Alessandra, Heidi, and Adriana. You knew where you were then and everybody liked all of them. Now it's too complicated because there are more names to remember...  

But - much as we may hate the focus being taken away from our undisputed favourites - new "Angels" we have got. And it seems opinion is very much in the negative about them:







LINDA - Ugh, Linda is just too skinny, It's not even funny anymore. That said, I'm going to continue to say Doutzen is fat without any trace of irony because that's a bit beyond me. What's with this skinny trend? I prefer a full-figured girl in lingerie. Have you noticed how fat Doutzen is? It's terrible!







ROSE - She's such an effing dog! How can anybody think she's pretty? Hey, don't hate me because that's just my opinion and that's ALLOWED.    Ale is the most beautiful girl in the world, FACT - and you can't disagree... Wait a minute, did I derail my own argument? Ummm... God, Rose is such a dog, I hope VS ditch her for someone we can all like...







DIOR - Blah... She's so plain. I mean it's totally obvious that Dior only got an "Angel" contract because she's blue. I don't want to sound racist - but, somehow, I'm just going to dig myself deeper into this hole. I mean, like, some of my best friends are blue.

[MissLimaVzla]

Baron you forgot the new VS "It" Girl Neytiri ... She's so blue&skinny, i saw a couple of her lingerie shoots & she's not my cup of tea but anyways

http://1.bp.blogspot...ar-neytiri1.jpg

My mom just told me that my grandma told her that she heard that Neytiry will be on the X-Mas Catalogue Cover, open the VSFS 2010, wear the Fantasy Bra -that is goin' to be white to match w/her skin of course- & she's even goin' to sing w/Ed Razek in the show.
She's the new Heidi Klum!

Please textlink or upload images onto a host instead of hotlinking.  For more information click HERE. Thanks! ~post edited by PinkCouture

[TheBaronOfFratton]

MissLimaVzla, on Mar 1 2010, 06:41 PM, said:

Baron you forgot the new VS "It" Girl Neytiri ... She's so blue&skinny, i saw a couple of her lingerie shoots & she's not my cup of tea but anyways

^

Ach, I guess if she was a dog too (but, I suppose, she's more of cat-type thing, no?) then she'd combine all 3 standout qualities of our new "Angels"!




Looking forward to her duet - but I do so hope Seal gets to join in at some point...  

[vanessaaa]

I think im a bout to die from laughing, you guys are hilarious!

[Siemgi]

Angel dropped because of dropped lbs

As you all know (unless you have been living under a rock for the past year, that is), Victoria's Secret is getting ready to launch its all new Very Sexy Icarus Man Sexy Bra for man boobs. However, the project recently hit the rock( hard ab)s.

Indeed, the brand's most recent Angel Baptiste Giabiconi (joining, in order of (re)joining, Heidi Klum, Adriana Lima, Alessandra Ambrosio, Miranda Kerr, Doutzen Kroes, Behati Prinsloo, Marisa Miller, Candice Swanepoel, Rosie Huntington, Lindsay Ellingson, Chanel Iman, Erin Heatherton, Emmanuela De Paula, Gracie Carvahlo, Brooklyn Decker, Kylie Bisutti, Dani Evans, Eva Longoria-Parker and Leni Klum-Samuel, hope I didn't miss any), who was scheduled to wear the all new Very Sexy Icarus Man Sexy Fantasy Bra was fired after losing too much weight since the bra didn't really fit anymore (pictured below).



Giabiconi, fashion's latest male model sensation since the last one (and KL's boytoy), reportedly became an avid fan of Tyra Banks's (also former Angel, but back when it meant something cause they weren't like 20 including a dude and a baby, pictured below again) MagaLine (as in online magazine, how clever) and lost quite a bit of weight using her oh-so effective diet plan.



Word is that the VS execs have launch a hunt for a replacement, as the bra, with a $16,000,000 price tag couldn't go to waste. Our sources tell us that Chad White (once more picture below), was recently spotted trying on new wings. Let's hope he doesn't crash and burn.

[TheBaronOfFratton]

^Big salute to you, Siemgi!

[PinkCouture]

Technically it is spurious---from my experience at least ...


http://www.msnbc.msn...659447#35659447

Just to defend VS, the associates are not suppose to accept anything that is used and/or untagged. I have no clue what's wrong with the associates in the video

[TheBaronOfFratton]

[PinkCouture]

^ BTW, they do have disposable rubber gloves to deal with used underwear

[aacrazysurf11]

Neytiri is actually hotter & cuter than most of the actual Angels

[vanessaaa]

This is gnna be crap,but whateever:

MAJOR TRADIGY :

A up- and coming new model called nandice poleswane has fallen to her death. The model was at a fitting for the new "Lighter then Heaven" wing range for chain store Victoria secret, the wings were attached by pinning them to her outfit. During the photoshoot the photographer asked the model to climb onto a ledge on the end of the building-telling her that it was perfectly safe..unfortunatley,she slipped and landed head-first on the concrete (the wings were intact)
In a bid to save face,Victoria secret has issued a statement saying that they are going to change the name "Lighter then Heaven" as medics who later tested the body said the cause of death was by a force pulling her down.
R.I.P.

[Siemgi]

TheBaronOfFratton, on Mar 4 2010, 10:57 AM, said:

^Big salute to you, Siemgi!

Thank you. Glad you enjoyed it.

[TheBaronOfFratton]

PinkCouture, on Mar 4 2010, 07:35 PM, said:

^ BTW, they do have disposable rubber gloves to deal with used underwear

^How about the VSFS 'used' underwear? I'd imagine that could fetch a penny on eBay!!!  

[TheBaronOfFratton]

vanessaaa, on Mar 4 2010, 11:26 PM, said:

This is gnna be crap,but whateever:

MAJOR TRADIGY :

^Bless you li'l v - gravity sure is a bitch...  

[TheBaronOfFratton]

SHE'S BACK - AND THINGS ARE GONNA CHANGE...

Oh yeah, things are going to change. BIG TIME. Yeah, like if you haven't been living under a rock you'll know ADRIANA (pbuh) IS BACK. That's right. And it's all going to change...

Forget what you know about "Angels" people. Because SHE'S BACK. And NOW she's back we can FINALLY get some order back into this whole stupid VS structure.

I don't know about you, but this last year has been TERRIBLE. I mean, I didn't know WHERE I was   . Before she went there was structure, and there was method. You had ADRIANA (pbuh) at the top, then Alessandra, then some others ( ), and then a few more scrabbling around to find diamonds in the shit they left behind. It was PERFECT. NOBODY was confused. Everything had it's place...


Then SHE left... AND IT ALL WENT TO HELL!


There were "Spokesmodels", there were "Supermodels", there were ugly girls trying to take HER place! There were "Bombshells", and there was Behati - what the fuck is that supposed to be?    Rosie?    Brooklyn Decker?    Chanel?    I mean, what were they thinking??? CHAOS!!!

Chaos all around...  


But it's OK now: ADRIANA (pbuh) IS BACK. And it's about time.


Now SHE'S back we can sort all this mess out - AND NOBODY IS SAFE.

Well, except ADRIANA (pbuh) OBVIOUSLY. And maybe Alessandra... But mostly ADRIANA (pbuh) because SHE'S BACK... AND THINGS ARE GONNA CHANGE...

Yes, NOBODY is safe. We're finally going to sort this all out. Finally we'll know, who ARE the "Angels"?

Infact let's just make it it ADRIANA (pbuh) and probably Alessandra. Then EVERYONE'S happy.

Now SHE'S back it's all OK. It will all make sense. SHE'S BACK - and heads are gonna fucking roll elsewhere. Oh yes, don't you worry. ADRIANA (pbuh) IS BACK.

Think you've got a contract? THINK AGAIN! The ONLY one with a contract worth a damn is ADRIANA (pbuh) (who's BACK, by the way). If you thought you had one too - well then you're WRONG...    Except, possibly, Alessandra...

Oh yeah, SHE'S got a contract all right. The BEST contract in the world EVER. It replenishes itself every nano-second to last for eternity. ADRIANA (pbuh) doesn't age, so it's OK - she simply evolves... Maybe she bathes in the blood of failed VS "Angels" and those Model Search losers? Countess of Bathory style... But that's OK, if that's the way to go - for the greater good and all that...  


OH YEAH, NOW SHE'S BACK THINGS ARE GONNA GET SHOOK UP...


Exactly how this is all going to happen isn't quite clear. But don't worry - because SHE'S BACK. And THAT is HOW it's going to get sorted.

Oh yeah, brace yourselves - EVERYTHING IS ABOUT TO CHANGE. Exciting times are ahead, VS fans. We've waited, we've worried. But now, NOW, SHE IS BACK - AND IT WILL ALL BE OK. Everyone's fine... Everyone's happy...

BACK BACK blah blah BACK...

[frenchkiki]

^^You are absolutely, irreparably & fantastically out of your brillant mind Monsieur le Baron   Mes respects � vous!

[mbinebri]

Oh man, that was the funniest one yet.  

[Prettyphile]

rotflmao

Barron you crack me up. IS SHE BACK? Is she? Are things REALLLLY going to be ok now?

[MissLimaVzla]

Baron ... Do you know what is goin' to change? Are ALL the other models goin' to be fired? (except Alessandra of course!) ... No more Supermodels/Bombshells/Spokemodels? No more contracted girls? No more models search? Is the war goin' to an end?

& ... is she really back this time? are you sure?

[TheBaronOfFratton]

^Oh SHE'S BACK alright. BACK - in case you hadn't heard!    Thank goodness, eh?


Ja, you know, I'm sure that VS will actually celebrate this in some tedious way... But my issue was with all that self-important bluster and po-faced hysteria (from certain quarters) about - essentially - a woman returning from maternity leave!