Jump to content
Bellazon

The Totally Spurious Victoria's Secret Thread


TheBaronOfFratton

Recommended Posts

post-40981-0-1446084499-12062_thumb.jpg

 

 

Rachel: What's up Candie?

 

post-40981-0-1446084499-14356_thumb.jpg

Candice: You are good, PINKY, but you're not that good. You could be magnificent.

 

post-40981-0-1446084499-17981_thumb.jpg

 

Rachel: I am required to pose so I pose. That is enough.

 

post-40981-0-1446084499-19359_thumb.gif

 

Candice: It's enough for the malls but not for New York .  Oh you should see the runway, PINKY. 100 million people watching every movement of your hips, willing you to make that killer look. The silence before you pose, and the noise afterwards, it rises, rises up like a Storm, as if you were the Jeebus Christo himself!

 

 

post-40981-0-1446084499-2062_thumb.jpg

Rachel: You wore the Fashion Bra?
Candice: Yes, I did ...
.
Rachel: And what happened next?

 

 

post-40981-0-1446084499-21419_thumb.gif

Candice: Long time ago the Emperor Ed Razek presented me with an extended, new contract... and now I will never worry about getting pregnant.....he touched me on my shoulder and now I'm still here.  I am free...

 

 

post-40981-0-1446084499-22716_thumb.jpg

 

 

Rachel:  I, too, want to stand in front of the Emperor Razek, as you did.

 

post-40981-0-1446084499-23348_thumb.jpg

 

Candice: Then listen to me. Learn from me. I wasn't the best because I pouted quickly. I was the best because the crowd loved me. Win the crowd, and you'll win your freedom... 

 

 

post-40981-0-1446084499-2606_thumb.jpg

 

Rachel: I....I will win the Crowd.  I will show them something they have NEVER seen before!

 

Rachel: Whirlllll, whrilll, twirrrrl, twirrl,  tee-hee bebe heheeeeeeeeeee! 

 

post-40981-0-1446084499-27369_thumb.jpgpost-40981-0-1446084499-28973_thumb.jpg

 

THIS IS MY BUTT! *WINK WINK*

 

post-40981-0-1446084499-30056_thumb.jpg

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I would love to actually see this happen, but I really doubt it will. 

 

http://www.msn.com/en-us/entertainment/celebrity/could-a-plus-sized-model-soon-become-a-victorias-secret-angel/ar-BBlfo78#image=AAb3Y1z|1

 

 

If you scroll through the photos at the bottom, starting with Miranda, eventually you'll see Elsa who's tagged as Lindsay Ellison. 
 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

post-40981-0-1446084501-2968_thumb.jpg

 

Ed Razek:

 

People have asked me: "What is the Greatness of Victoria's Secret? "

 

I tell them it's an idea, this greatness. Greatness is a Vision.
 

I gave the people a vision and they loved me for it.

 

They soon forgot the tedious sermonizing of a few infertile ugly feminists.

 

And there is more: I will soon give them the Greatest Vision of their lives.

 

Victoria's Secret and her progeny will rule for a thousand years!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Secret meeting, 2014

 

post-40981-0-1446084502-33625_thumb.jpg

 

Razek: Are you ready to do your duty for Victoria's Secret?

 

post-40981-0-1446084502-3585_thumb.jpg

 

Candice: Yes, father.  :)

Razek: You will not be the Next Adriana.

 

post-40981-0-1446084502-43076_thumb.jpg

Candice :  Which hotter, more iconic Angel is to take my place?

 

post-40981-0-1446084502-44197_thumb.jpg

Razek: Your powers will be diluted and passed to each of the Newest Angels to hold in trust until the Next Adriana is discovered and ready to rule once more. In the Age of Social Media, Victoria's Secret is to be a Democracy again.

 

post-40981-0-1446084502-46708_thumb.jpg

Candice: What the F***.   Newest Angels??? 

 

post-40981-0-1446084502-48814_thumb.jpg

 

Razek: My decision disappoints you?

 

post-40981-0-1446084502-54863_thumb.gif

Candice: You insta'd to me once, listing the greatest virtues of the Adriana. As I read the list I knew I had none of them.

 

But I have other virtues, Father -- a great A$$, that can be a virtue when it drives us to arch our backs.

 

Nondescript, mannequin like beauty. Devotion, to the Victoria's Secret family, and to you.

 

But none of my virtues were on your list. Even then it was as if you didn't want me as an Angel!

 

post-40981-0-1446084502-57191_thumb.jpg

 

Razek: Oh, Candice, you go too far.

 

post-40981-0-1446084502-58555_thumb.gifpost-40981-0-1446084502-60463_thumb.jpg
 

Candice: I searched the face of the Adriana for ways to please you, to make you proud.... One kind word, one full hug while you pressed me to your chest and held me tight, was like the sun on my heart for a thousand years.... What is it in me you hate so much? All I ever wanted was to live up to Adriana and Victoria's Secret, Father.

 

post-40981-0-1446084502-62456_thumb.jpg

Razek: Candice, .............your faults as an Angel, is my failure.... as the Razek.

 

post-40981-0-1446084502-64377_thumb.gif

Candice: Father, I would have leaked Hermann's sex tape to the whole world if you would have only chosen me!!!

 

post-40981-0-1446084502-66661_thumb.jpg

Link to comment
Share on other sites

post-40981-0-1446084505-5464_thumb.png

post-40981-0-1446084505-56426_thumb.png

 

post-40981-0-1446084505-58263_thumb.jpg

 

 

AHHAHHAHAHHHH TEJAS NO MORE I'M CURED GAAAAAAAA GOD NO JEEBUS  NO NO NO  AHHAHHHHHHHHH  HELPPPPP

 

 

===========================================================

 

Erin Heatherton and Eric Heatherton:  #can't unsee

 

If you like the looks of both, what does that make you? :evil:

 

post-40981-0-1446084505-60101_thumb.jpg

 

================================================================================================

post-40981-0-1446084505-4898_thumb.jpg post-40981-0-1446084505-51007_thumb.jpg

“For years, I’ve prayed to be allowed back. The flesh melts from my bones, and seeps through the rocks. But you know what? I put myself back together again. Every night. And none of you can forget me. None!!!"

 

#bodybyiza

Link to comment
Share on other sites

post-40981-0-1446084506-73661_thumb.jpg

 

" As for the 'Newest Angels' speculators:  For months I didn't consider it my obligation to set things straight.  I released clues little by little. I was convinced that the longer they didn't believe it was coming, the better.  Because surprise is also a potent weapon. "Can you imagine?":  Allows for a more creative pathway to the mind.  More open.

 
What would have become of Victoria's secret without propaganda?!!
 

And where would this dynasty be heading if truly creative propaganda was not here to provide its spiritual identity today!!!"

 

post-40981-0-1446084507-07172_thumb.gif

===============================================================================

post-40981-0-1446084507-28627_thumb.jpg

 

Ten Newest Angels? TEN ?? Fools!!! Verdammt noch mal!

No one can save Victoria! When the forest grows too wild,
a purging fire is inevitable and natural.

Relish today. Tomorrow the World will watch in horror
as its greatest Lingerie company destroys itself.

The Movement back to Harmony will be unstoppable this time!

 

post-40981-0-1446084507-30468_thumb.png

Link to comment
Share on other sites

==========================================================================================

2013

 

post-40981-0-1446084508-19682_thumb.gif

 

Erin: You called for me Emperor?

 

post-40981-0-1446084508-20908_thumb.jpg

 

Razek: Erin, I saw your weight. We're going to have to let you go.  Turn in your wings.

 

post-40981-0-1446084508-21606_thumb.gif

 

Erin: But I only gained 4 pounds.  You can't......

 

post-40981-0-1446084508-26548_thumb.jpg

 

Razek: Your body mass index is not what it's supposed to be.

 

post-40981-0-1446084508-27596_thumb.gif

 

Erin: But Emperor Razek.....

 

post-40981-0-1446084508-28959_thumb.jpg

 

Razek: But Nah Nah baby doll.  It's your annoying butt that's the problem.

 

post-40981-0-1446084508-31325_thumb.gif

 

Erin: ................................

 

==============================

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Naysayers:

 

Everyday is a great day when you are here. 

Today is your most fortunate day.

 

post-40981-0-1446084509-13284_thumb.jpg

 

As my buddy Baron always held: The traditions here, their code, their world, their business, it's all a funny joke.

You won't come to now. You may never. No matter: I do not seek to conquer a few opposing brains.

But if you do come to sometime, come back or put up your own in your own style.

Until then, fly away, fly fly fly...there will always be more coming down the pipeline.

 

==========================================================================

 

1966

 

post-40981-0-1446084509-16246_thumb.jpg

 

post-40981-0-1446084509-17734_thumb.jpgOne day I shall harvest slaves for my culture!

 

===================================

 

The VS family is a trap!  I will win on my own! 

 

I will ruin my rivals with my weapons of beauty, flattery, and deceit!

 

The Fashion Bra is Mine!

 

post-40981-0-1446084509-19995_thumb.gif

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
×
×
  • Create New...