Football

[Frederick]

Get a grip, Neymar, you looked like a kid filling in for his dad's pub team.

[SympathysSilhouette]

Seems a bit odd that Real Madrid are complaining about the ref when he awarded them a penalty for a foul that happened outside of the box...

[Michael*]

Messi to the rescue for Barca, a clinical hat-trick. The penalties conceded by Madrid were so easily avoidable, particularly the second one. Iniesta had already lost the ball and there were others there for cover, but Alonso still felt the need to steam in, block him with his knee and give him a bit of a kick. A frustrating and unnecessary brain-freeze that cost his team the game. Also, in addition to Neymar being rubbish, Bale was rubbish.

 

Depending on how their respective fixtures pan out between now and mid-May, the Barca-Atletico showdown on the final day could be bordering on apocalyptic.

[Michael*]

Cleverley is like a bloke at a wedding reception who wants to do a song with the band, but only knows two chords.

[Frederick]

Someone get Dame Rio Ferdinand a mobility scooter, a fat man moves towards a plate of salad quicker than he gets to a ball.

[Socio]

Real Madrid lost mathematical chances on winning the La Liga with Sevilla, but it's hard to win any league while you're not able to defeat main rivals. Real Madrid lost both matches with FCB and lost and draw with Atletico. Not even week ago the situation looked quite another.

[Michael*]

Another defeat, but a much-improved performance against high quality opposition, restricting them to relatively few genuine openings. If only John O'Shea could head the ball straight, we may even have come away with a point.

 

A weekend of watching results from elsewhere roll in ahead of a game on Monday evening will be nerve-wracking, but if we're still in touch by the time we play West Ham, then what an opportunity.

[Michael*]

Typical. The instant you need Chelsea to do you a favour against Crystal Pulis, they consciously uncouple from the title race. The little horse, as I believe Mourinho put it the other week, was let down by a donkey.

 

Newcastle thoroughly annihilated by Southampton, and J-Rod and R-Lam with good performances again in the fight to become Hodgson's fourth-choice striker at the World Cup. I wouldn't bother though, lads, it'll be Andy Carroll.

[Michael*]

When you keep on failing to win your must-win games, all signs point towards relegation. The fact of the matter is that we just haven't been good enough, there are only so many ways to keep your head above water and over the last few years, we've exhausted them all. It is what it is. Roll on the summer, I've had enough of this crap.

[Frederick]

When you keep on failing to win your must-win games, all signs point towards relegation. The fact of the matter is that we just haven't been good enough, there are only so many ways to keep your head above water and over the last few years, we've exhausted them all. It is what it is. Roll on the summer, I've had enough of this crap.

 

Didn't see the game, what was the thinking or alleged thinking behind putting Johnson on the bench? 

[Michael*]

Didn't see the game, what was the thinking or alleged thinking behind putting Johnson on the bench?

When Johnson was introduced, he made as much of a difference as Ki did in Sky's Liverpool variety show (sorry, the Liverpool game) but he should have been on the park so much sooner. Poyet tried playing 3-5-2 (not really a system that Adam fits naturally into) at Anfield, and it sort of worked, in as much as it provided us with another option. We were able to pen Liverpool back, force them into dropping deeper than they usually like, and prevent them from playing their trademark one-twos. And, despite the fact that West Ham are a rather different proposition, Gus stuck with the system last night. That wouldn't necessarily have been a bad thing had he shuffled the pack a bit and brought in some of our more attack-minded players like Johnson and Gardner, but he didn't and consequently, the likes of Cattermole and Bardsley, who usually get nosebleeds in and around the box, were the ones finding themselves in positions to shoot and provide killer passes, only to lose all composure when it mattered most. A battling performance, but too few players capable of justifying the manager's tactics, or doing the simple things well enough.

 

We would do well to start putting square pegs in square holes, one player to do one job, that sort of thing. Not that we can do much about it now, of course. As awful as it feels to admit it, we're in need of a minor miracle. Cardiff and Fulham look as if they've had it, West Brom are in freefall and Norwich's last four games are a nightmare, but we simply don't seem equipped to take advantage. We’ve been living on borrowed time since the sale of Bent and the series of poor decisions that immediately followed it. This is three and a half years' worth of luck catching up with us.

[Frederick]

Random marquee victories seem to be Sunderland's bag this season and Lord knows everything's going far too well at Everton at the moment, I wonder if its time for another wacky pendulum swing. Either that or General Magath's Fulham will beat us. 

[Michael*]

The art of falling apart.

[Frederick]

Whoops, I obviously thought Sunderland were in another cup final at the weekend and forgot they were playing Spurs on Monday. Seems the team forgot too!

 

Meanwhile someone better call Chris Akabusi because Paul Lambert's Villa are now Record Breakers! Ten home defeats in the league this season - for the first time in our entire history! With two games still to play! Plus don't forget the League Cup 0-4 whooping by AVB's Spurs, a team not exactly known for their attacking potency and of course the defeat by the blade of Sheffield United in the FA Cup. As soon as Benteke crocked it I knew Fulham were going to batter us and they pretty much did from the get go. How fragile are our boys if they take absolutely no morale from beating Chelsea? It begs belief. In two years under Lambert we seemed to have spent most of the time chasing our own tail, one step forward, three steps back. I'm none the wiser, I don't know our best team and I've no idea why some of our players are where they are. If there's a plan for this squad I haven't seen it. Yet no doubt this will be spun, as per usual, as deluded Villa fans grumbling amid unrealistic expectations.

I was struck by something Michael wrote a few posts ago about Sunderland's bad decision making and how it eventually catches up with you and its hard not to think the same of us. Unless something truly heinous happens it won't be this season but 2014/15? To quote the great Ron Saunders, admittedly speaking in much happier times, "would you bet against us?"

[Frederick]

A brilliant performance from the boys, if little Mkho had brought his scoring boots with him we might in the semis. Thank you, lads! 

[Michael*]

Whoops, I obviously thought Sunderland were in another cup final at the weekend and forgot they were playing Spurs on Monday. Seems the team forgot too!

 

Meanwhile someone better call Chris Akabusi because Paul Lambert's Villa are now Record Breakers! Ten home defeats in the league this season - for the first time in our entire history! With two games still to play! Plus don't forget the League Cup 0-4 whooping by AVB's Spurs, a team not exactly known for their attacking potency and of course the defeat by the blade of Sheffield United in the FA Cup. As soon as Benteke crocked it I knew Fulham were going to batter us and they pretty much did from the get go. How fragile are our boys if they take absolutely no morale from beating Chelsea? It begs belief. In two years under Lambert we seemed to have spent most of the time chasing our own tail, one step forward, three steps back. I'm none the wiser, I don't know our best team and I've no idea why some of our players are where they are. If there's a plan for this squad I haven't seen it. Yet no doubt this will be spun, as per usual, as deluded Villa fans grumbling amid unrealistic expectations.

I was struck by something Michael wrote a few posts ago about Sunderland's bad decision making and how it eventually catches up with you and its hard not to think the same of us. Unless something truly heinous happens it won't be this season but 2014/15? To quote the great Ron Saunders, admittedly speaking in much happier times, "would you bet against us?"

 

Here's everything I've learned from our seven seasons in the Premier League. Hopefully, Ellis will remember at least some of it for the future.

 

• Do everything humanly possible to hang on to your best forward players. If they demand a move, refuse. If you absolutely have to sell, invest in replacements with similar experience and quality.
• No signing numerous players from relegated sides all at once. Even if they look good on paper, they'll bring a losing mentality along with their boots.
• Relying on the loan market every year can be extremely hazardous. The players have less to lose than the ones you have under contract, and the ones who excel will never stay for longer than one season, because their more illustrious parent clubs will want them back.
• Avoid signing small armies of random players that your equally random director of football is mates with like the plague.
• When signing players from the South American leagues, assume that they won't look the part for at least six months (to be fair, this one actually happens at most clubs, just not ours).
• Big name managers with big reputations don't always guarantee success (McMenemy started it, O'Neill finished it).
• Don't invest large sums of money in young, inexperienced or untested players until you're already well established as a top ten side, and can afford to wait for them to develop.
• Make sure your pre-season is chock full of warm-up games so that the team always has a chance to gel before the first league game of the season.
• Beating your local rivals at home and away should not be taken as an indicator of how good your team is, especially when said local rivals are as absolutely dire as Newcastle.

[Michael*]

A brilliant performance from the boys, if little Mkho had brought his scoring boots with him we might in the semis. Thank you, lads!

 

Had it not been for poor finishing by the aforementioned (and otherwise superb) Mkhitaryan, Dortmund would have helped themselves to at least a four-goal victory, and fully deserved it. Champions League football at its best.

[Frederick]

Okay, Michael, I sat down under exam conditions and worked my way through these...

 

1) Does getting Stephen Ireland in the James Milner deal count? 

2) Buying players just relegated from the Premier League is sadly considered too hoity toity for us these days.

3) Kyle Walker certainly proves the latter, Bertrand had a bright start but has tailed off quite a bit. Holt, who knows?!

4) Random signings like a Chesterfield striker who never scored more than eight goals in a League One season? And then predominantly using him as a winger?!? 

5) We don't tend to stray further than the Eredivisie but I think the point still stands.

6) O'Neill, Houllier.....

7) Ding ding ding ding. 

8) We did most of our business in the summer pretty early, went to America for pre-season, met Tom Hanks....seemed okay (pre-season, not Hanks, who I hear was a delight).

9) Carson Yeung's in prison, we made two spirited comebacks against the mighty West Brom. Yep, doesn't make us brilliant all of a sudden. 

 

[SympathysSilhouette]

Atletico could have been 4-0 up within the first twenty minutes!

[Michael*]

Okay, Michael, I sat down under exam conditions and worked my way through these...

 

1) Does getting Stephen Ireland in the James Milner deal count? 

2) Buying players just relegated from the Premier League is sadly considered too hoity toity for us these days.

3) Kyle Walker certainly proves the latter, Bertrand had a bright start but has tailed off quite a bit. Holt, who knows?!

4) Random signings like a Chesterfield striker who never scored more than eight goals in a League One season? And then predominantly using him as a winger?!? 

5) We don't tend to stray further than the Eredivisie but I think the point still stands.

6) O'Neill, Houllier.....

7) Ding ding ding ding. 

8) We did most of our business in the summer pretty early, went to America for pre-season, met Tom Hanks....seemed okay (pre-season, not Hanks, who I hear was a delight).

9) Carson Yeung's in prison, we made two spirited comebacks against the mighty West Brom. Yep, doesn't make us brilliant all of a sudden. 

 

From an outsider's perspective, Villa's transitional period appears to have dragged on for far too long, but with perhaps three or four quality acquisitions to slot straight into the first team and a more positive attitude from the board and the management, things could be looking a lot better by this time next year. As long as you steer clear of the kind of haphazard 'rip it up and start again, turn a bad team into a worse one' approach we seem to favour every summer, I suspect there'll almost always be at least eight worse teams in the Premier League.